Monday, July 6, 2009

Date Movie

Date Movie; Parody, USA, 2006; D: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer, S: Alyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell, Sophie Monk, Eddie Griffin, Fred Willard, Carmen Electra

Julia Jones is an overweight woman who wants to finally get married. Since no man wants her, she contacts a date doctor who sucks her fat out and makes her thin. She is then brought to a bachelor TV show where she gets a date with Grant. The two of them get engaged, but first they have to go through meeting Grant's annoying parents, an obnoxious wedding planner and his ex-girlfriend who wants him back. The wedding is canceled but Julia in the end still returns to him and they get married, going on a honeymoon to Kong island.

"Date Movie" is a flat out disastrous film that is catastrophically unimaginative in spoofing contemporary films in 2006 - some of which were already forgotten after a decade anyway - and the only insight it offers is the sheer fact that a parody is a much more demanding genre than one presumes, which just shows how such films that did it right like "Airplane" and "Top Secret" really deserve much more credit than they get. Disgusting, stupid, vulgar, insensitive, obnoxious and rotten are all attributes that come to mind when one watches this sad film, filled with deformed "humor" - in one scene, the date doctor flosses Julia's teeth and finds an old remains of a chicken wing; Grant screams in "orgasm" when he is about to order dinner in a restaurant; the cremation urn falls and breaks, releasing a decomposing corpse, which is then humped by the cat...Need I go on? Should I even go on?

Everything is already clear 5 minutes into the film. Actually, one really wonders what instructions were given by the director to the actors on the set: when Eddie Griffin lifts his shirt up and reveals he has 8 nipples, did the director say: "All right, Mr. Griffin, now we are going to film you with 8 nipples, so that all your children and grandchildren can see you. This is going to be funny, even if you don't understand it". It's such a pity to spot the sympathetic Alyson Hannigan staring in such an embarrassing role, but she, as well as all other actors, are in no position to refuse roles and all need to pay their bills, which is precisely why only the screenplay should be blamed for everything going wrong. This film is so bad, it causes damage to the brain. This film is so bad, it disrupts the balance of nature. This film is so bad, it seems as if it was directed by Borut Pahor. And finally, this film is so bad, it stimulates the viewer to start believing in some conspiracy theory in which some filmmakers are deliberately dumbing down people with such stories, because the only explanation for such stupidity is that it was done deliberately.


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