Spy Kids

Spy Kids; Action comedy, USA, 2001; D: Robert Rodriguez, S: Alexa Vega, Daryl Sabara, Antonio Banderas, Carla Gugino, Cheech Marin, Alan Cumming, Tony Shalhoub, Robert Patrick, Teri Hatcher

Mother Ingrid tells their children Carmen and Juni a story about a male and a female spy who had the assignment to terminate each other, but fell in love and got married. But the kids don't know that it's actually the story of their mom and dad, Gregorio, who truly are spies. But Floop, the host of a TV show for kids, creates robot kids and kidnaps Ingrid and Gregorio because they have a mechanical brain for the robots. Their kids save themselves in a submarine and arrive to an island where they learn about the spy gadgets. Floop's robots who are identical to Carmen and Juni, take the mechanic brain. Floop is put in the prison by his assistant Minion, but gets released by the Juni and persuades him to turn to the good side. Together they release their parents and make robot kids into good robots.

"Spy Kids" is a deformed family entertainment - its a surprising, but unfunny spy nonsense that was created after Robert Rodriguez decided to make a film that even his kid will be allowed to watch. He made a correct, childish job, but equipped with occasional sharpness and fascinating spy gadgets. Most of the jokes are weird - in the opening, we see how mom and dad spy have a secret date on tables which are over 10 yards away from each other, and after the wedding they jump with parachutes shaped like a heart. When father Gregorio spots a bully dad, he imagines to throw him out of the school window. There is also too much unnecessary trash, like stupid looking robots shaped like a hand with - a thumb instead of a head (?) or irritating mutants from the TV show of Floop, who are suppose to be a parody of "Muppets". As a whole, an energetic and very acceptable flick, but nothing more, whereas the best part was George Clooney in a small cameo as the spy boss.

Grade:+

El Mariachi

El Mariachi; Action satire, Mexico, 1992; D: Robert Rodriguez, S: Carlos Gallardo, Consuelo Gómez, Jaime de Hoyos, Peter Marquardt

Young musician El Mariachi arrives to a small Mexican town with his guitar case. He tries to find a job as a singer, but nobody wants his services. But, some criminals spot his guitar case and mistake him for assassin Azul, so they start chasing him. El Mariachi hides in the apartment of girl Domina and decides to find the real Azul. Mobster Moco kills Domina and Azul, but El Mariachi kills him.

"El Mariachi" is the legendary directorial debut movie by Robert Rodriguez, shot for only 7.225 $ (though it should be stated that the final version, distributed by Columbia Pictures, was transferred from 16 mm to 35 mm, raising its final budget considerably), which offers excellent unpretentious fun, which is why some regard it as even better than the expensive and "too polished" "Desperado" shot 3 years later. Full of unusual camera angles, humorous ideas (a dog with sunglasses) and fun situations (mobster Moco lights up a match on the beard of his employee; criminals chase after the hero on the street, but don't know how he exactly looks like, so he simply passes by them), "El Mariachi" is a wonderful example of enthusiastic and childish filmmaking, something Rodriguez lost in his later career. The whole film is simple and has a deliberately arbitrarily-sloppy setting, whereas also the amateur actors and unconvincing movie blood contributed to its charm. All in all, to some the story will be too light, yet they will have to admit the fun energy.

Grade:+++

Desperado

Desperado; Action, USA, 1995; D: Robert Rodriguez, S: Antonio Banderas, Salma Hayek, Joaqim de Almeida, Steve Buscemi, Cheech Marin, Carlos Gallardo

Some man in a bar tells how he witnesses some criminals getting assaulted by the mysterious stranger El Mariachi near the Mexican border. But quickly El Mariachi shows up in that town in person, armed with a guitar case full of weapons, thirsty for revenge because criminal Bucho killed his girlfriend. El Mariachi kills a bunch of people in a bar in self-defense because they thought he will kill him. Since he is wounded, he is nursed by Caroline, the owner of a bookstore who hides money in books and has a relationship with Bucho, who hires a bunch of assassins and puts her home on fire. El Mariachi kills Bucho and runs away with Caroline.

With "Desperado", Robert Rodriguez shot a remake of his own debut movie, "El Mariachi", whose 7 million $ budget made it 1.000 times more expensive than that first film - when at the beginning Steve Buscemi's character starts telling how the hero entered the bar with this twisted dialogue: "Nobody knew what to think about him, but he was there and he came in", it crystallizes the impression that its a matter of an unserious, but excellent fun. The action sequences are masterfully choreographed - something that is massively missing in many mainstream action films - and exaggerated, which is why Banderas is shooting with his guitar case (sometimes even with rockets!) whereas the hit bad guys even fly over 10 yards away. Some will maybe be bugged by the light story and the fact that its just a relaxed fun and nothing more, but it has style, humor, is very good and precise, while Salma Hayek delivered another impressive performance.

Grade:+++

From Dusk till Dawn

From Dusk till Dawn; Horror thriller, USA, 1996; D: Robert Rodriguez, S: George Clooney, Quentin Tarantino, Harvey Keitel, Juliette Lewis, Cheech Marin, Salma Hayek

Two brothers, Seth and Richard, are criminals who are chased by the police. During a runaway from Texas, they take hostages; Jacob, a pastor who is questioning his faith, and his teenage children, Kate and Jacob. After passing the border, they go to a Mexican night bar full of thugs, but during the night all the guests transform into vampires. The vampires kill Richard, Jacob and Scott, but when the Sun rises, Seth and Kate manage to save themselves.

"From Dusk till Dawn" managed to gross very solidly at the box office and it's a quite amusing film in a black humored kind of way. The original opening is the best part: a police officer enters a store. He talks with the clerk about the infamous murders of the Gecko brothers and then goes to the toilette. Just then the Gecko brothers get out of their hiding place (!) and order the clerk to act more "naturally" that he is not a hostage. Later on, of course, that situation ends in a shootout - they burn him and his corpse falls on corn, heating it up into popcorn. Even later on does the film have its moments, like when the excellent Harvey Keitel plays pastor Jacob who argues with George Clooney's character ("Are you such a loser that you don't even know when you've won?") or when Salma Hayek appears as a stripper, but redirecting the story into a vampire horror in the second half turned it into an unconnected and too brutal flick, whose B-movie references sucked it too much in that grey territory, and thus it's a pity that it lacks humor and doesn't manage to remain as fun as from the start.

Grade:++

A Man and a Woman

Un homme et une femme; Romance, France, 1966; D: Claude Lelouch, S: Anouk Aimée, Jean-Louis Trintignant, Pierre Gautier, Valerie Lagrange

While Anne accompanied her daughter to the kindergarten, she missed her train. Since it's raining, Jean-Louis picks her up in his car, who accompanied his son to the kindergarten. Anne tells him how she got married to a stunt man who recently died in an explosion on the set of some war film. Jean-Louis' wife committed suicide from depression when he had a car accident. The two of them slowly falls in love. They spend a few tender moments together. In the end, she ends the relationship because she still thinks about her husband, but she returns to Jean-Louis.

Winner of 2 Golden Globes (best foreign language film, actress Anouk Aimee), 2 Oscars (best foreign language film, screenplay), a BAFTA (best actress Anouk Aimee) and the Golden Palm in Cannes, "A Man and a Woman" is an ostentative French classic and a small jewel of romance. Author Claude Lelouch displays the banally simple story about a man and a woman falling in love, but enriched with clever direction, unbelievably emotional charge and magically sophisticated intimate approach, raising its quality and turning it into pure class, though an occasionally empty scene can seem bothersome by some. The sequence in which Jean-Louise meets Anne for the first time during the rain and picks her up in her car, was shot in black and white cinematography, while the director chooses unusual camera angles throughout the story (the scene where the car tosses upside down several times was shot from the point-of-view of the driver, which is why the horizon "turning around" through the window can be seen). Jean-Louis drives with his car through a puddle and splashes two hunters, resulting also in a humorous moment ("You splashed two people!" - "Those are hunters. No mercy for them!"). Yet, the biggest highlight is the unforgettable, beautifully honest, beautifully open-hearted, almost miraculous sequence of the couple making love in bed - shot in "orange" cinematography - which is "interrupted" several times by small flashbacks of the two of them kissing in nature, caught in a dreamy moment.

Grade:+++

Date Movie

Date Movie; Parody, USA, 2006; D: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer, S: Alyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell, Sophie Monk, Eddie Griffin, Fred Willard, Carmen Electra

Julia Jones is an overweight woman who wants to finally get married. Since no man wants her, she contacts a date doctor who sucks her fat out and makes her thin. She is then brought to a bachelor TV show where she gets a date with Grant. The two of them get engaged, but first they have to go through meeting Grant's annoying parents, an obnoxious wedding planner and his ex-girlfriend who wants him back. The wedding is canceled but Julia in the end still returns to him and they get married, going on a honeymoon to Kong island.

"Date Movie" is a flat out disastrous film that is catastrophically unimaginative in spoofing contemporary films in 2006 - some of which were already forgotten after a decade anyway - and the only insight it offers is the sheer fact that a parody is a much more demanding genre than one presumes, which just shows how such films that did it right like "Airplane" and "Top Secret" really deserve much more credit than they get. Disgusting, stupid, vulgar, insensitive, obnoxious and rotten are all attributes that come to mind when one watches this sad film, filled with deformed "humor" - in one scene, the date doctor flosses Julia's teeth and finds an old remains of a chicken wing; Grant screams in "orgasm" when he is about to order dinner in a restaurant; the cremation urn falls and breaks, releasing a decomposing corpse, which is then humped by the cat...Need I go on? Should I even go on?

Everything is already clear 5 minutes into the film. Actually, one really wonders what instructions were given by the director to the actors on the set: when Eddie Griffin lifts his shirt up and reveals he has 8 nipples, did the director say: "All right, Mr. Griffin, now we are going to film you with 8 nipples, so that all your children and grandchildren can see you. This is going to be funny, even if you don't understand it". It's such a pity to spot the sympathetic Alyson Hannigan staring in such an embarrassing role, but she, as well as all other actors, are in no position to refuse roles and all need to pay their bills, which is precisely why only the screenplay should be blamed for everything going wrong. This film is so bad, it causes damage to the brain. This film is so bad, it disrupts the balance of nature. This film is so bad, it seems as if it was directed by Borut Pahor. And finally, this film is so bad, it stimulates the viewer to start believing in some conspiracy theory in which some filmmakers are deliberately dumbing down people with such stories, because the only explanation for such stupidity is that it was done deliberately.

Grade:-

Crocodile Dundee

Crocodile Dundee; Adventure comedy, Australia/ USA, 1986; D: Peter Faiman, S: Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, Mark Blum, John Meillon

New York reporter Sue Charlton goes to Australia to write an article on adventurer Mick "Crocodile" Dundee who apparently lost his leg to a crocodile. But once there, she discovers the rumors were exaggerated since he only has a small scar. He copes perfectly in the jungle and sometimes even saves endangered animals (except for crocodiles). Sue brings the sympathetic adventurer to New York where he has a hard time adapting to the urban life. When editor Richard proposes Sue, Dundee leaves. But she stops him in the subway and admits she loves him.

Australian comedian Paul Hogan didn't appear in many films, but he remained unforgettable as the relaxed adventurer Crocodile Dundee in this cult hit for which he won the Golden Globe and was nominated for a BAFTA as best actor, since at his core he plays a swab hero. The film had a modest, 8 million $ budget, but it soon turned out to be a real gold mine when it went on to become the 2nd most commercial film in the US of the year. There where the cliches start in adventure films, like "Romancing the Stone", there "Dundee" skilfully avoids them or spoofs them, whereas in doing so it never seems pompous. For a film without a plot, it's unbelievably successful, whereas it contains a whole queue of brilliant ideas and events, not only funny, but also wise - where the hero even defends animals.

A swab but analytical approach, and at times a fantastic fun. Basically, the film is a neat yin and yang story where New York reporter Sue is in a "fish out of water" plot in Australia, and then the tables are switched when Australian Dundee is in a "fish out of water" plot in New York, but his wild, free and unfettered spirit is completed by her sustained and civilized manners, and vice versa. Today, the film seems too arbitrary and not that fun anymore, while some of Dundee's 'rough' misadventures in New York are downright embarrassing (like when he touches a cross-dressed man between the legs to see if he is a woman or not), yet some of his jokes (like when he is smoking and, having nothing, uses his own hat on his head as an ashtray or when he says "Good day! Good day! Good Day!" to hundreds of New Yorkers on the street) still have charm, while it also has a great romantic ending in the subway.

Grade:++

Crocodile Dundee II

Crocodile Dundee II; Adventure/ Comedy, Australia/ USA, 1988; D: John Cornell, S: Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon, Ernie Dingo

Coming to New York with his friend Sue, adventurer Mick "Crocodile" Dundee is bored. He is fishing in the sea, but mostly cannot escape the routine urban life. However, he gets a letter from a reporter who was killed by a drug mafia, in which photos of the organization are attached. In order to get them, the mafia kidnaps Sue. Dundee saves her, but in order to beat the mobsters, he lures them to Australia, where he challenges and captures them one by one.

After the huge success of the film "Crocodile Dundee", a sequel was made, which at times manages to touch the original, while it was almost equally commercial as the first film. Comedian Paul Hogan and his wife Linda Kozlowski are again sympathetic and playful as the main protagonists, while the only pity is that the director was replaced. John Cornell, it seems, cannot keep the film interesting, while the inclusion of the deadly serious drug mafia lead to the fact that the film loses it epithet of a harmless comedy. The whole story seems as if it was made for a completely different audience than the one that adored the first film where there were no bad guys and no plot, while here the story became a clumsy action flick. Even though its illogical and cliche ridden, the finale where Dundee defeats the mobsters one after one in his homeland, his terrain, the Australia, is such a sweet 'guilty pleasure' that it's definitely the highlight that should be seen.

Grade:+

Treasure Planet

Treasure Planet; Animated science-fiction adventure, 2002; D: Ron Clements, John Musker, S: Joseph Gordon-Lewitt, Brian Murray, Emma Thompson, David Hyde Pierce, Martin Short

The future, planet Mestross. Boy Jim Hawkins is fascinated by the stories of the treasure of pirate Flint. 12 years later, he works in his mother's restaurant which gets set on fire by pirates after he discovered a map that shows the planet with the treasure. Together with astronomer Dobbert, he organizes a journey on a ship where the captain is a cat-woman, Amelia. Cyborg cook Silver plans to kill the crew after the discovery of the treasure, but gets to like Jim and shows him his pet Morph that can change shapes. Getting away from a Supernova, the ship arrives at the treasure planet. During a mutiny, Jim, Dobbert and Amelia run away to a mountain and discover Flint's robot Ben. The crew finds the treasure but the planet starts collapsing on itself. Jim gets the ship through a space portal, releases Silver and uses the gold to restart his mother job.

Despite an Oscar nomination for best animated film and an 140 million $ budget, "The Treasure Planet" grossed only 40 million $ at the US box office, which is truly a pity since it is one of the better products of the later Walt Disney studio animated films. Directors Clements and Musker, two old Disney pros, directed this futuristic version of the novel "Treasure Island" with a frapant style: the crescent moon turns out to be a giant space station full of houses (a wonderfully esoteric "camouflage"); the map is a spherical machine that screens the green hologram of the space though the whole room; hero Jim is driving through the sky with a skateboard whereas cyborg Silver has a mechanical arm that can transform into a weapon and an apparatus. It's naive that the space ships in the story are designed like ordinary ships, the aliens are trashy whereas a lot of the points in the story are rushed and illogical, yet the film is imaginative and deviates a lot from the cliches: for instance, Silver is not a black and white bad guy, but a sympathetic nihilist who even starts to like Jim, the character of cat-woman Amelia is so alive it's fantastic while the real equivalent to poetry is the scene where morph, a shapeless alien creature, during the farewell transforms into a cluster of tears.

Grade:++

Chocolat

Chocolat; Comedy/ Drama, USA/ UK, 2000; D: Lasse Hallström, S: Juliette Binoche, Lena Olin, Alfred Molina, Judi Dench, Johnny Depp, Carrie-Anne Moss

French province, '59. Out of nowhere, the mysterious Vianne Rocher and her little daughter Anouk arrive to a small town. The two of them buy a store and open a pastry shop filled with chocolate. Since is the time of fasting, Comte Paul considers excessive enjoyment of chocolate a sin, while he is supported by the religiously fanatic church. Still, Vianne is full of goodness and hires Josephine in her store to protect her from her abusive husband. Gypsies show up in the city in boats, hated by everyone, but one of them, Roux, is employed by Vianne who falls in love with him. Zealot Paul decides to demolish the store, but when he tastes chocolate he changes his mind whereas Vianne gets accepted in the community.

Juliette Binoche won an Oscar in the overrated "The English Patient" after which her career went through a stagnation phase for a while. "Chocolate" is thus a small triumph for her since she got a very good role where she could display at least a part of her talent. The sole plot in which religious fanatics consider chocolate a sin during fasting isn't especially convincing, except if it can be seen as an allegory on numerous bans of numerous religions, and its critical re-examination, thus the speech of the priest at the end is crucial and sums up the whole point in a nutshell: "I think that we can't go around measuring our goodness by what we don't do. By what we deny ourselves, what we resist, and who we exclude. I think we've got to measure goodness by what we create and who we include". Even though it has some serious tones about lack of tolerance in people, "Chocolat" is definitely a comedy that celebrates life and enjoyment (a young priest explains an old man that his dog doesn't have a soul and then scolds him because he gave the animal too much chocolate during fasting, upon which the man replies: "But if my dog doesn't have a soul, then God's laws don't apply for him!"), but with too much sugary charge and a too simple, or better said too relaxed crafting to be anything more than a neat film that doesn't reach the heights of director Lasse Hallstrom's earlier achievements.

Grade:++