Friday, January 30, 2026

The Real Blonde

The Real Blonde; comedy, USA, 1997; D: Tom DiCillo, S: Matthew Modine, Catherine Keener, Maxwell Caulfield, Daryl Hannah, Bridgette Wilson, Mario Thomas, Kathleen Turner, Elizabeth Berkley, Denis Leary, Steve Buscemi, Christopher Lloyd

New York. Joe wants to make it as an actor, but is only working as a waiter and still has no agent. Joe is questioning his relationship with his girlfriend Mary, deeming their sex underwhelming lately. His co-worker Bob accepts a job at a TV soap opera and wants to find a real blonde. Joe meets with agent Dee Dee and accepts to perform as an extra in a Madonna music video, but instead of the singer, only her stand-in is on the set, Tina. Due to an argument with an anti-Judaist assistant, Joe is fired. However, Dee Dee lets him audition for a role with Tina, and Joe gets a part in a movie. Tina kisses him, Joe at first embraces her, but then stops, leaves and returns back to Mary. Joe and Mary have passionate sex again and thus make up. 

Tom DiCillo's only big budget Hollywood film, "The Real Blonde" has a story that is difficult to pin down: ostensibly, it is about a blonde, but it uses that only as a symbol for a contemplation about integrity and happiness. The main character is struggling actor Joe (very good Matthew Modine), trying to make it in New York, which again touches upon DiCillo's themes of struggling artists and filmmaking from "Living in Oblivion"—Steve Buscemi even practically reprises his role as the director of the Madonna music video. The best bits are Joe's relationship scenes with Mary (outstandingly natural and genuine Catherine Kenner): as a couple, they are not idealized, they have troubles, they argue, but they have the ability to listen, improve and understand each other as truly grown up characters, which is fascinating. The movie starts with Joe and Mary in a crisis in bed, as they hear through the window of their apartment that some old lady's dog is kidnapped on the street; conversely, the movie ends with Joe and Mary making up and having wonderful sex in bed, as the old lady outside spots her lost dog returning back to her on the street. The dog is thus a symbol for balance, comfort in Joe's and Mary's relationship, which is lost, but then found again.

Their crisis is caused by Joe's refusal to star in TV soap operas, deeming them weak, as he only aims for artistic roles in quality films, but this way he is often short on money. As his agent tells him, he must be willing to accept even bad roles in soap operas, because that's all "just business". Joe's friend Bob is basically Joe's "what if?" shadow: Bob is also an actor, but accepts to star in a soap opera for money. Bob is thus a symbol for shallowness and giving up for easy comfort. He is looking for a "real blonde", but eventually ends up with a woman who admits she only dyed her hair and is a brunette. In a skillful twist of the viewers' assumptions, DiCillo implies that Joe is also technically a blond, a male blonde, but has integrity and standards. Ironically, Mary thus ends up with a real blond, while Bob ends with a fake blonde, because he is so superficial. The storyline defies a typical three-act structure and meanders a lot, but for some reason it flows so smoothly and naturally that it is simply engaging to watch it. The movie is often funny through little character quirks and lines, whereas these characters grow on you. One has sympathy for Joe who navigates through this world of weird videos and photo shoots about nothing, without a soul. In one crucial sequence, Joe meets Tina who has blond hair; later, they meet again at an audition, but Tina now has natural brown hair. Tina kisses him, but he decides to return to Mary. Is the message that small, imperfect happiness is still preferable to idealized, illusory happiness because it is at least—real? Either way, "The Real Blonde" is a comfy fun.

Grade:+++

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